Swinging

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

-Mariah Carey, Bye Bye.

Chapter One:

Laughter bubbled through my throat, as I swung up and down on the swing. It had been so long since I had last played the swing after all. Happy memories with him immediately flashed before my eyes as the wind lifted my swing up into the air..

"So you love to play the swing?" he questioned me. I looked up in surprise to see a boy around my age staring at me with curiosity. He had brown hair and brown eyes, and yet, he looked explicitly handsome.

"Yeah," I said, cheeks red from his intense gaze. "What about that?"

He smiled at me, his face instantly transforming from a cold and aloof boy into a young and radiant boy.

"Cause I love it too."

I grinned. Finally, I had a companion who did not find playing the swings at my age childish!

From then on, I would always go over to the swing at the playground to meet him. It became our secret meeting place. He was always there on the spot without fail and gradually, we begin talking to each other. There was not a moment that we did not enjoy together. Life was perfect for us.

I laughed. How foolish we were back then, I thought as the swing plunged back downwards into the air. In a way, our love story was like a swing, pushed back and forth by the winds of time, causing it to neither go forward nor backwards. Tears pricked at my eyes. Death really was cruel. She took him and left me with nothing, now what reason do I have to live?

Shaking my head, I tried to fill my mind with happy and positive thoughts, but no matter how hard I try, the exhilarating thoughts that filled my mind would always turn into sadness. Pain.

My memories, thought to be washed away by the currents of time, came back in full force. Who said time would heal all wounds? It has been a year, hasn't it? Then why am I still unable to forget him? Why?

I closed my eyes, and let the tears fall freely down my cheeks. Haunting chocolate brown eyes twinkling with happiness was enveloping me in its embrace and my mind returned to the past once more.

"Why are your eyes so brown?" I asked one day, unable to contain my curiosity. "Are you not a Chinese?"

He grinned.

"No," he had said. "I'm just an alien from outerspace."

I smacked him hard on the shoulder. Here I was, trying to ask a proper and serious question that had me wondering for ages, and there he was, making a fool out of me and himself with his silly answer. Feeling angry, I stormed away from him, rubbing away the few tears that managed to escape my eyes.

"Heys, I'm sorry."

His voice trailing after me as I ignored it and strode on. I was livid with anger. How could he do this to me? Did he treat me as some joke?

Grabbing my hand and pulling me into his embrace, he gently wiped away all my tears.

"I'm sorry."

He whispered once more, his voice lost in the air.

I said nothing. His body heat was enveloping me and it made me feel warm and secure. Taking a deep breath, a scent of jasmine reached my nostrils as I raised my arms and hugged him back. And so, we stood there in the playground, safe in each other's embrace..

A wistful sigh escaped my lips as a new flood of tears was brought forth.

I cannot do this! I cannot forget him! He is my everything. He is me and I am him. Without him, there is no me, there is no us.

There is already no us, my mind whispered. There is already no you and him.

"NO!" I hollered into the air as the rain droplets started to fall from the sky. Gone was the bright sunshine and azure sky which was replaced with big gray clouds looming overhead. Gone was life.

"The promised land was just too tempting isn't it?"

The question floated silently in the air, unanswered. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I was once again forced to accept that the love of my life was gone forever.

"Why did you leave me alone?" I whispered, hugging myself as the rain started to pour down relentlessly. "Why can't you give me and yourself more time?"

Like a broken recorder, I kept repeating the questions over and over again. I wanted someone to answer me. I wanted an explanation why he was snatched so early away from me. Why was Fate so cruel?

I did not know how long I sat under the rain. Time no longer mattered to me. Far back in my mind, I knew that I should be returning home and answering the phone that had been ringing for the past hour but somehow, I just could not bring myself to do it.

Why bother living when the only reason I had for living was dead?

Frantic footsteps awoke me from my muse and I found myself staring back into onyx black eyes filled with concern.

"Your eyes are black."

I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Why are they black? I DON'T LIKE black!" I shouted, behaving like a three year old child wanting candy. "I want BROWN eyes! CHOCOLATE BROWN! NOT BLACK!"

He cried silently as he hugged me to his chest.

"It'll be alright, you'll see. You'll be alright."

"WHAT'S ALRIGHT? NOTHING'S ALRIGHT! YOUR EYES, THEY'RE NOT BROWN! IT SHOULD BE BROWN! WHY IS IT NOT BROWN? ONLY BROWN EYES CAN STARE AT ME WITH LOVE AND CONCERN. ONLY BROWN EYES CAN EMBRACE ME. Only brown eyes can love me.."

I whispered towards the end as I cried on his chest.

"Why?" I continued asking. "Why couldn't me and him be together? Why? Why?"

He said nothing, merely tightening his hold onto me as if he was afraid I would leave if he did not. And so, we embraced under the rain like a broken love story, like a story that would not end.

Why did you leave me alone?